Again, In a Heartbeat

Diane, born on a September morning in the 1960's was adopted at the age of three weeks by a couple who lived in the country on a farm. A new baby girl coming into a home with one big brother, adopted two years earlier.

Being brought up, Diane's parents were open and honest about her and her brother being adopted, it was not a family secret - something their parents were very proud of, to have two happy healthy children.

Diane had always wondered who her birth mother and birth father were, if she looked like them, acted like them - shared the same values, goals and dreams. To her, finding this family was a dream that she planned to make a reality.

With only a birth date and city to go on, finding that dream seemed more like a nightmare. Every stone she overturned seemed to uncover another dead end. Diane wanted to know, but no one was giving any answers. She needed guidance and a shoulder. It is difficult to find someone to understand the feelings and emotions adoptees and birth parents have; only another can truly relate to those feelings.

Diane was worried about hurting her adoptive parents' feelings, and tried to do everything she could to make them understand. She was not searching for new parents, but to find her past - where she came from and her medical history. However, her parents were hurt - there was no avoiding it. 

Diane finally explained to her parents that they taught her how to love, and if she did not love, she would not care. If it is possible for a parent to love more than one child, then one child can love more than one parent.

The search was a rough one. After Diane became of legal age, her search started out in full force - but there was little to go on, only her birthdate and the city she was born in.

In 1983, Diane contacted Mary, a birthmother to help her find her birth family. She had no idea this would only be the start. For the first time, Diane actually had someone to relate to - someone that could understand her feelings and emotions. Someone to listen, and a shoulder to bear.

For the next ten years, Diane and Mary conversed numerous times on the phone - with Mary acting as a sounding board; giving guidance to Diane to aid in her search.

Finally, in 1994, Diane had obtained her non-identifying information from the agency that placed her with her adoptive family. Diane now knew her birthmother and birthfather's age, along with that of two uncles, an aunt and grandparents.

When It Rains ... It Pours!

Non-identifying information is one thing... yet identifying information is needed to find what you're looking for. Mary said this numerous times to Diane over the years. The day Diane received her non-identifying information, she also obtained her first name given at birth. It was Evelyn.

Ten days later, Diane learned her sur-name - the one given at birth. Her first call was to Mary with the good news. Now it was just a matter of waiting until some legwork could be done by Mary.

After a long, emotional search, ten days from learning the sur-name, Mary found Diane’s Birth Family for her. Bringing the information to Diane's door step would be Mary, the first time the two had met after many conversations. 

Complete with two younger brothers and sisters, Diane went on to meet them all soon thereafter.

Since that time, Diane and Mary's friendship has broadened. They are now a unique duo with the same goals in mind. Those goals include helping all Searching Adoptees and Birth Parents find their missing counterpart.

In achieving their goals, they have formed I.C.A.R.E. - Independent Confidential Adoption Research Efforts - complete with a state of Wisconsin Adoptee and Birth Family Registry.